Performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs) are everywhere these days.
Whatever the industry, PEDs are a factor. Whether we're talking about professional football players or IT dipshits in Denver, everyone is on PEDs.
I don't give a shit, frankly. When you think about it, every substance you put into your body is either going to enhance or diminish performance. I've heard salmon is pretty good for you, but nobody's going around calling that a performance enhancing drug.
Lance Armstrong got busted for blood doping. Lance Armstrong is an asshole and the noose finally tightening around his enhanced neck was one of the greatest days of my life, but let's be real here: if everyone on the Tour was doing it, don't you think ... eh, fuck it. Fuck Lance Armstrong.
If we really want a level playing field, maybe we should require all human beings to eat and drink the same things every day. My fat coworker must think I'm a performance-enhancing cheat because I eat salads for lunch instead of a bucket of cream. And he's not wrong, you guys. He's not wrong at all.
I just injected 4 CC's of heroin into my thigh.
Love,
Ethan
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