Window or Aisle? The devil is in the details

It's one of life's fundamental questions, along with "Should I brush my teeth tonight?" and "Escalator or elevator?" The question I'm referring to? First, reader, you need to learn how to god damn read, it's in the post title. That question, again for those of you who are mental midgets, is "Do I take the window or aisle?"  This is mostly geared towards airplanes, as train travel is for the communist and pro-Chive crowd. Also, I hate traveling on ground whenever possible, so whatever. 

Where was I? Oh, right, aisle vs window. The window I feel provides more privacy as you are now only potentially losing one arm rest to a mouth breathing Neanderthal, while having sweet nothingness (read: uncomfortably curved inside of plane) to rest your head on. Aisles also get at least one arm rest, but nothing to put your head on (although I've rested my head on one or three bosoms after getting sufficiently snookered on red eyes from Paris to Newark and subsequently charming my seat mate, most of whom were female). 

But to me, dear reader, the aisle seaters get the best perk of all: sweet, blessed aisle space to stretch your legs. God gave you those legs to extend, not to bunch up like a horrible arachnid. I've found myself most refreshed after being able to stretch out (and of course after the bosom resting, if you can get it). So next time, opt for the aisle. 

Voluntarily choosing the middle for the increased socialization opportunities makes you the worst person ever created and thus my mortal enemy. 

Happy travels,

Rupert Chang