Getting Ready for Halloween

Subject: Getting Ready for Halloween

 

Dear Reader:

 

This post continues on our journey through the glorious fall season.  I’m excited to say that my second favorite holiday is coming up – Halloween!  I’d tell you my favorite holiday, but frankly it’s none of your business, and I really wish you’d stop asking.

 

Let’s take a moment to talk about costumes.  I feel very strongly about this.  If you’re not getting your kids’ costumes from Pottery Barn Kids, then I think there are probably grounds for you to be reported to the Department of Children and Families.   If you’re an adult, nothing less than a fully authentic costume will do.  Don’t go out there with a $20 plastic Darth Vader costume, or I will find you and throat punch you to oblivion.  If you’re going as the Dark Lord of the Sith, you must have a fully accurate, form fitting suit, with a fully functioning light saber.  The latter is crucial for the overall ambience, and for slaying neighbors attempting to hand out health food to trick or treaters.  Halloween is for lifelike costumes and tooth rot, everyone agrees on this, so don’t be an asshole.

 

Please join me in my next post as I wade you through the “Dos” and “Donts” of watching football, another great fall activity.  Here’s a sneak peak – you should never cheer for the Kansas City Chiefs for any reason whatsoever, as I have a lifelong blood feud with Andy Reid.

 

 

Cheers!

 

 

Rupert Chang