A recent debate centers around the use of margarine in one’s daily cuisine. As a regular consumer of expensive butter, I am appalled at this and decided to pen this post.
Margarine is unholy, unnatural, and disruptive to the inner digestive tract. Those who know me know that I value being regular above all else, making my commode visits on a regular schedule that does not vary more by more than five minutes as a rule. The introduction of margarine by my otherwise saintly wife laid waste to my digestive tract and sent me in a rut that took me a fortnight to recover from. I wish I could say that I have forgiven Carol, but that would be a lie.
Margarine is made of vegetable oil – if I wanted to eat solid oil I would frequent a local fried food eatery, like a common glutton or somebody from Alabama. No, no, no. Give me solid butter, preferably from a cow which was fed gently culled grass. There is nothing better than a slice of toasted sourdough bread with a slab of butter, and I will stake my name on that.
Please consult your local grocer to inquire how to obtain fresh butter, they will be delighted to assist you.
